Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Maybe You Never Will

So you're in the stage where you start to get judged. Where people rely on what they hear, and use these stories as their basis for their first impression on you. First impressions that might last.

But I'm not here to tell you how wrong they are. I'm not here to tell you what you already know.
I often hear someone saying "Stop judging me. You don't even know me." But I'm not here to judge those people either. I'm just here to judge that line.

Question is: Do you even know yourself? 
Everyday, every other day, every other week or why does it matter when, you find new things out about yourself. You have those moments when you get shocked when someone tells you how you are or how they see you. Some days, you realize you've changed. Your preference in clothing, in music, in food, the kind of friends you wanna have, the way you handle situations and such. 
It's easy for you to say you know yourself because you are of your own possession. You are yourself, and you belong to yourself. Because once you bring up the fact that it's you whom they're talking about, they can't argue. But that doesn't automatically mean you're right about yourself all the time, either. That's why there comes a time when someone admits to being wrong. When someone apologizes for something they did. For something they did which involved them.

There may be truths in what other people say about you. You just can't accept that fact because you fail to see what they see. 
But it's also true when you say that there are things they don't know, because you can always choose to keep as much as you want. You can always choose to keep things, and once you do, you can never blame them for not knowing.
And then there are these questions about yourself which you have a difficulty in answering. Sometimes it's because there are too much to choose from, but sometimes it's plainly just because you don't know the answer.

Maybe nobody knows. Maybe there are things about yourself that you'll never know about. Things that even others can't see. It's not impossible. You find out a lot about yourself as your life progresses. Who knows how much more you haven't found out yet? Who knows when you will find out? Who knows if you will find out?

There are those people who say "I don't even know myself."
Then there are those who don't.
But inside each of us is a voice saying the exact same thing. That small voice we choose to ignore. That small voice with the power to confuse us all. That small voice you hardly entertain is the reason why there are those times when you just can't understand yourself.

You can list down a bunch of adjectives to describe yourself, but no list would ever be enough to give a precise definition of your being. Or maybe one could. But one day, this list would no longer be accurate, because you'll never stay the exact same way as how and who you are now.

So now, try to tell me. Who are you?

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Monday, March 30, 2015

What The Future Is About

"What are your dreams?"

"What are your goals in life?"

"How do you see yourself in 10 years?"

There are questions I have no answers to, and there are questions I simply don't want to answer. These three questions are mixtures of both. Actually, I don't really dislike the actual questions. What I hate is how everyone is expecting the same kind of answers. How the first thing that comes to anyone's mind when asked these is something related to their career. How the future is being limited to just one's career. How success, for others, simply means getting the job you've always wanted. How the future is being underestimated. Or maybe, how life is being limited, when it's the only thing you have within the course of your existence. 

Dreams are meant to be unlimited. There are no stupid dreams, just stupid people who tend to think that all dreams must be achievable and not surreal. Stupid people who judge others for not having the same outlook in life. People who are so into the patterned way of living, ignorant of the broader reality, of the things no one has done, but can be done.

Quite a lot of times, I have been asked what my dreams and goals are. And quite a lot of times, I've told people that I have none, or I simply don't know what they are. Truth is, I know what they are, but I'd rather not talk about them because I know that my answers would be different from what they're expecting. I don't have the answer they're looking for. I don't have the answer which they'd think is right, so I don't give them any answer at all. If I told them that I dream to fly, to experience a peaceful world, to walk on water or to ride a flying horse (not that these are my dreams exactly), wouldn't they just laugh? If I told them that my goal in life is to become a better person, good enough to bring out the good in others and maybe change the world, wouldn't they think I'm just trying too hard to be deep? You might not think these things are stupid, but a lot of people do, and it's a saddening fact.

My dreams are not your dreams. They're not supposed to be like yours. You can't tell me nothing's going to happen in my life just because my dreams are not 'concrete'. I don't aim to win anything, if victory is the key to success. I don't live to succeed, I live because I was given a life. I don't see life as a game, so don't ask me to play it. Don't ask me what rules I have to live by. Life isn't a competition of who's above who. This isn't the Hunger Games. We co-exist. 

You may choose to live in the usual way, but don't drag me into it because that's not what I want. I refuse to accept your offer, your recruitment for me to be a part of the basic tradition. I don't fully believe in that system, and I'm not going to be a part of it. It's enough that I have to live in the same way, being conscious of what people would think, of what society does and does not want, having the same routine as most people of my age, because living this way is nothing majestic at all. So it's enough, and it stops there. It's enough that I appear to be just like everyone else. I'm not going to be just like everyone else. You can't make me think like how you do. 

I pass on the offer to live by the patterned life; being born, being taught, pressuring myself to get good grades, being able to graduate so I can get a decent job. For what reason? To bear a child, sustain her life, send her to school so she can be taught, pressure her into getting good grades until she graduates and gets a decent job? This cycle is never-ending, and this cycle is basically making us live not for ourselves, but for the future of another human being. And in that future lies another cycle. There's no fulfillment in the future because every future is just another starting point. And this, dear reader, is why I don't live to secure the future. I'm not saying that I'm never going to be a part of that process. What I'm saying is that there's much more to life than just that process. The future is not for myself alone, and before worrying about the life of another, I want to live my own.

This article is © Copyright – All rights reserved - seenyetunheard.blogspot.com. You may quote any post, sentence, or phrase found this article provided you acknowledge seenyetunheard.blogspot.com or Alexa Basilio as the original source. Please respect the effort exerted on the thought of each post.