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Saturday, February 14, 2015

Faith Is Not Always Religious

 "What if he's not the right guy?"
"What if he doesn't love me back as much as I love him?"
"What if he gets tired of me?"
"What if what's enough for me isn't enough for him?"

At around 2:00 in the morning of yesterday, I had the chance to talk to someone who threw the exact same questions after I asked why she thought finding love was so complicated. That was when I realized that a lot of people are afraid to fall in love. More so, a lot of people are afraid of being in a relationship. Worded differently, a lot of people are afraid of getting hurt and not getting it right on the first try.
In addition to the questions, she said that she wants her first to be her last. She worries that if ever she gets hurt, then she might hesitate to try again. Or if she tries again, she might hesitate to let the next guy know her too well. She might stop herself from giving what she could and what she should. Like a lot of people out there, especially the hopeless romantics, she loves the idea of love. She likes to think that love is a wonderful thing, and that everyone is bound to find the perfect person for them. But at the same time, she fears that if things don't go accordingly, then she might stop loving these ideas. She might stop thinking that love is grand. Worse, she might stop thinking that love actually exists.

So here's my expanded response to her doubts.

Faith. 
That's my perspective expressed in one word. You need faith in order to experience the kind of love you so badly long for. Love is a risk to take, and your faith in love is what would help you overcome your fears. Your fear of rejection, of mistaking infatuation as love, of falling for the wrong person and whatever else. Faith- in love- is courage, understanding, and acceptance. With faith in love comes your understanding that pain is inevitable. That things won't always go the way you want them to. That not just because something is not meant to be, then it means it's wrong. That not just because you failed on your first attempt, then you can no longer get it right the next time. 

Maybe the idea of first and last love is what's flawed.
I believe that you can't control how long a relationship would go on for. That you may want your first romantic relationship to be your last, but you will never ever find a formula or a method on how to attain that. First and last love does exist, as proven by married (maybe even dead) couples, but the chance to have it is not given to everyone who wants it.
Holding yourself back must never be a choice. If you refuse to give what you can give, may it be gradually or all at once, then don't bother getting into a relationship. For you to be able to call it 'love', or for it to be considered as 'love', you have to set all your cards on the table. If not now, then later.

Nothing can assure that a relationship would last for as long as you live. Not even trying to find the perfect guy who fits your standards, a.k.a the ideal guy. There are ideal people who have been victims of failed relationships. There are ideal people whom you just can't fall in love with, no matter how hard you try. Then there are those people who don't seem ideal at all, yet you find yourself falling for anyways. It's not the standards that matter. It's your attitude towards the relationship, and the way you make decisions when problems arise. Would you let it go on, or would you easily give up? What's sad is how we all have the potential to fall out of love. Our lack of consistency. The lack of consistency of the things that keep the relationship going. The ultimate killer of a relationship.

If the time comes that you can no longer prove to yourself that first and last love exists, then you may as well start believing in true love. First love may be powerful in terms of sequence, but true love buries that  kind of power. I hate how cheesy all these terms sound, but true love is empowered by strong faith, for one who lacks faith is not bound to find what she's looking for. You can't experience love if you don't believe in it. You can't experience anything you don't believe in, because what the mind does not believe, it cannot recognize. What it cannot recognize is therefore non-existent. Love, therefore, would be non-existent. Your loss of faith in love the moment you get hurt for the first time would kill the possibility of you ever finding what you're really looking for. 
Don't stop there. Your trial is not limited to one. Keep your faith and keep going.


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Monday, February 9, 2015

Love Cannot Be Forced (Part1)


People say that there’s a time for everything.

And true enough, this is the time where you’ll get tired of people obsessing over the idea of love.
There’s not a day when I won’t hear or read anything related to being broken, and what irks me is how some people who cry over love are people who don’t even have a love interest.

It is at this same time when I’ve realized that the world is filled with human beings who judge other people without ever trying to understand the situation, and this is where my post is centered on

“He’s so sweet. How can she not like him?”
“Guys who exert effort are rare. If she passes him up, she won’t ever find someone like that again.”
“He’s being real. What else does she want?”

To everyone who can’t find something better than to judge people for not liking someone who’s ‘real’, I think it’s time for you to stop meddling with things you shouldn’t be concerned about. I’m not saying you’re forbidden to think the way you wanna think like. All I’m saying is that you don’t have the right to think negatively of an individual when you’ve never been on the situation she’s facing.

Getting into a relationship does not only require two decent people being together so they could live happily ever after. What it actually requires is two people who love- who are in love with- each other. A good relationship is not formed by decisions made out of intellect. A good relationship is formed by decisions made out of intimacy that has been felt.

And this is me sparing you from the annoyance you are about to have the moment you see a person who’s true to the one he likes, yet does not receive what he deserves. This is me telling you that no matter how ideal a person is, you can’t just force someone to like that person. This is me asking you not to be stupid enough to think that you can let love grow by providing reasons as to why it has to work, because no matter how good your reason is, it does not have the power to control an emotion.

Love won’t grow out of planting a good reason.



This article is © Copyright – All rights reserved - seenyetunheard.blogspot.com. You may quote any post, sentence, or phrase found this article provided you acknowledge seenyetunheard.blogspot.com or Alexa Basilio as the original source. Please respect the effort exerted on the thought of each post.