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Thursday, October 29, 2015

How Deep Do Your Thoughts Go?

A lot of people try to tell me that I have a certain way of seeing things- a certain way they’ve never found in anyone else. That I’m ‘deep’. 
Maybe it’s because of the pieces of advice I have to offer, the way I word my thoughts out. But when it’s 3 in the morning and I start to wonder about everything, I always find myself constantly wondering... how deep do your thoughts go? How deep does everyone’s thoughts go? 
How deep must one’s thoughts be in order for others to consider them a deep person? Is it ever really a matter of which thoughts are deeper?

Everyone has the tendency to think, or maybe even overthink. To ponder. To lie in bed late night and stare at the ceiling, wondering why they’re experiencing what they’re experiencing, when things will get better, or maybe what the purpose of their existence is. I’ve gotten used to absorbing people’s comments about the way I think, but I never considered myself special because of my thoughts. Everyone has a different mind. Everyone thinks differently.

I’ve come to a conclusion that people don’t go after how deep an idea is. People go for which angle it points at. There are a million or more angles that emerge from a single point. Each idea is on the same level, no high nor low, no elevation. People just like to find the perfect angle to get their minds going; to tickle their thoughts.

The perfect angle to satisfy their appetite, like eating the best slice of pizza out of the whole box.



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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Maybe You Never Will

So you're in the stage where you start to get judged. Where people rely on what they hear, and use these stories as their basis for their first impression on you. First impressions that might last.

But I'm not here to tell you how wrong they are. I'm not here to tell you what you already know.
I often hear someone saying "Stop judging me. You don't even know me." But I'm not here to judge those people either. I'm just here to judge that line.

Question is: Do you even know yourself? 
Everyday, every other day, every other week or why does it matter when, you find new things out about yourself. You have those moments when you get shocked when someone tells you how you are or how they see you. Some days, you realize you've changed. Your preference in clothing, in music, in food, the kind of friends you wanna have, the way you handle situations and such. 
It's easy for you to say you know yourself because you are of your own possession. You are yourself, and you belong to yourself. Because once you bring up the fact that it's you whom they're talking about, they can't argue. But that doesn't automatically mean you're right about yourself all the time, either. That's why there comes a time when someone admits to being wrong. When someone apologizes for something they did. For something they did which involved them.

There may be truths in what other people say about you. You just can't accept that fact because you fail to see what they see. 
But it's also true when you say that there are things they don't know, because you can always choose to keep as much as you want. You can always choose to keep things, and once you do, you can never blame them for not knowing.
And then there are these questions about yourself which you have a difficulty in answering. Sometimes it's because there are too much to choose from, but sometimes it's plainly just because you don't know the answer.

Maybe nobody knows. Maybe there are things about yourself that you'll never know about. Things that even others can't see. It's not impossible. You find out a lot about yourself as your life progresses. Who knows how much more you haven't found out yet? Who knows when you will find out? Who knows if you will find out?

There are those people who say "I don't even know myself."
Then there are those who don't.
But inside each of us is a voice saying the exact same thing. That small voice we choose to ignore. That small voice with the power to confuse us all. That small voice you hardly entertain is the reason why there are those times when you just can't understand yourself.

You can list down a bunch of adjectives to describe yourself, but no list would ever be enough to give a precise definition of your being. Or maybe one could. But one day, this list would no longer be accurate, because you'll never stay the exact same way as how and who you are now.

So now, try to tell me. Who are you?


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Monday, March 30, 2015

What The Future Is About

"What are your dreams?"

"What are your goals in life?"

"How do you see yourself in 10 years?"

There are questions I have no answers to, and there are questions I simply don't want to answer. These three questions are mixtures of both. Actually, I don't really dislike the actual questions. What I hate is how everyone is expecting the same kind of answers. How the first thing that comes to anyone's mind when asked these is something related to their career. How the future is being limited to just one's career. How success, for others, simply means getting the job you've always wanted. How the future is being underestimated. Or maybe, how life is being limited, when it's the only thing you have within the course of your existence. 

Dreams are meant to be unlimited. There are no stupid dreams, just stupid people who tend to think that all dreams must be achievable and not surreal. Stupid people who judge others for not having the same outlook in life. People who are so into the patterned way of living, ignorant of the broader reality, of the things no one has done, but can be done.

Quite a lot of times, I have been asked what my dreams and goals are. And quite a lot of times, I've told people that I have none, or I simply don't know what they are. Truth is, I know what they are, but I'd rather not talk about them because I know that my answers would be different from what they're expecting. I don't have the answer they're looking for. I don't have the answer which they'd think is right, so I don't give them any answer at all. If I told them that I dream to fly, to experience a peaceful world, to walk on water or to ride a flying horse (not that these are my dreams exactly), wouldn't they just laugh? If I told them that my goal in life is to become a better person, good enough to bring out the good in others and maybe change the world, wouldn't they think I'm just trying too hard to be deep? You might not think these things are stupid, but a lot of people do, and it's a saddening fact.

My dreams are not your dreams. They're not supposed to be like yours. You can't tell me nothing's going to happen in my life just because my dreams are not 'concrete'. I don't aim to win anything, if victory is the key to success. I don't live to succeed, I live because I was given a life. I don't see life as a game, so don't ask me to play it. Don't ask me what rules I have to live by. Life isn't a competition of who's above who. This isn't the Hunger Games. We co-exist. 

You may choose to live in the usual way, but don't drag me into it because that's not what I want. I refuse to accept your offer, your recruitment for me to be a part of the basic tradition. I don't fully believe in that system, and I'm not going to be a part of it. It's enough that I have to live in the same way, being conscious of what people would think, of what society does and does not want, having the same routine as most people of my age, because living this way is nothing majestic at all. So it's enough, and it stops there. It's enough that I appear to be just like everyone else. I'm not going to be just like everyone else. You can't make me think like how you do. 

I pass on the offer to live by the patterned life; being born, being taught, pressuring myself to get good grades, being able to graduate so I can get a decent job. For what reason? To bear a child, sustain her life, send her to school so she can be taught, pressure her into getting good grades until she graduates and gets a decent job? This cycle is never-ending, and this cycle is basically making us live not for ourselves, but for the future of another human being. And in that future lies another cycle. There's no fulfillment in the future because every future is just another starting point. And this, dear reader, is why I don't live to secure the future. I'm not saying that I'm never going to be a part of that process. What I'm saying is that there's much more to life than just that process. The future is not for myself alone, and before worrying about the life of another, I want to live my own.


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Saturday, February 14, 2015

Faith Is Not Always Religious

 "What if he's not the right guy?"
"What if he doesn't love me back as much as I love him?"
"What if he gets tired of me?"
"What if what's enough for me isn't enough for him?"

At around 2:00 in the morning of yesterday, I had the chance to talk to someone who threw the exact same questions after I asked why she thought finding love was so complicated. That was when I realized that a lot of people are afraid to fall in love. More so, a lot of people are afraid of being in a relationship. Worded differently, a lot of people are afraid of getting hurt and not getting it right on the first try.
In addition to the questions, she said that she wants her first to be her last. She worries that if ever she gets hurt, then she might hesitate to try again. Or if she tries again, she might hesitate to let the next guy know her too well. She might stop herself from giving what she could and what she should. Like a lot of people out there, especially the hopeless romantics, she loves the idea of love. She likes to think that love is a wonderful thing, and that everyone is bound to find the perfect person for them. But at the same time, she fears that if things don't go accordingly, then she might stop loving these ideas. She might stop thinking that love is grand. Worse, she might stop thinking that love actually exists.

So here's my expanded response to her doubts.

Faith. 
That's my perspective expressed in one word. You need faith in order to experience the kind of love you so badly long for. Love is a risk to take, and your faith in love is what would help you overcome your fears. Your fear of rejection, of mistaking infatuation as love, of falling for the wrong person and whatever else. Faith- in love- is courage, understanding, and acceptance. With faith in love comes your understanding that pain is inevitable. That things won't always go the way you want them to. That not just because something is not meant to be, then it means it's wrong. That not just because you failed on your first attempt, then you can no longer get it right the next time. 

Maybe the idea of first and last love is what's flawed.
I believe that you can't control how long a relationship would go on for. That you may want your first romantic relationship to be your last, but you will never ever find a formula or a method on how to attain that. First and last love does exist, as proven by married (maybe even dead) couples, but the chance to have it is not given to everyone who wants it.
Holding yourself back must never be a choice. If you refuse to give what you can give, may it be gradually or all at once, then don't bother getting into a relationship. For you to be able to call it 'love', or for it to be considered as 'love', you have to set all your cards on the table. If not now, then later.

Nothing can assure that a relationship would last for as long as you live. Not even trying to find the perfect guy who fits your standards, a.k.a the ideal guy. There are ideal people who have been victims of failed relationships. There are ideal people whom you just can't fall in love with, no matter how hard you try. Then there are those people who don't seem ideal at all, yet you find yourself falling for anyways. It's not the standards that matter. It's your attitude towards the relationship, and the way you make decisions when problems arise. Would you let it go on, or would you easily give up? What's sad is how we all have the potential to fall out of love. Our lack of consistency. The lack of consistency of the things that keep the relationship going. The ultimate killer of a relationship.

If the time comes that you can no longer prove to yourself that first and last love exists, then you may as well start believing in true love. First love may be powerful in terms of sequence, but true love buries that  kind of power. I hate how cheesy all these terms sound, but true love is empowered by strong faith, for one who lacks faith is not bound to find what she's looking for. You can't experience love if you don't believe in it. You can't experience anything you don't believe in, because what the mind does not believe, it cannot recognize. What it cannot recognize is therefore non-existent. Love, therefore, would be non-existent. Your loss of faith in love the moment you get hurt for the first time would kill the possibility of you ever finding what you're really looking for. 
Don't stop there. Your trial is not limited to one. Keep your faith and keep going.


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Monday, February 9, 2015

Love Cannot Be Forced (Part1)


People say that there’s a time for everything.

And true enough, this is the time where you’ll get tired of people obsessing over the idea of love.
There’s not a day when I won’t hear or read anything related to being broken, and what irks me is how some people who cry over love are people who don’t even have a love interest.

It is at this same time when I’ve realized that the world is filled with human beings who judge other people without ever trying to understand the situation, and this is where my post is centered on

“He’s so sweet. How can she not like him?”
“Guys who exert effort are rare. If she passes him up, she won’t ever find someone like that again.”
“He’s being real. What else does she want?”

To everyone who can’t find something better than to judge people for not liking someone who’s ‘real’, I think it’s time for you to stop meddling with things you shouldn’t be concerned about. I’m not saying you’re forbidden to think the way you wanna think like. All I’m saying is that you don’t have the right to think negatively of an individual when you’ve never been on the situation she’s facing.

Getting into a relationship does not only require two decent people being together so they could live happily ever after. What it actually requires is two people who love- who are in love with- each other. A good relationship is not formed by decisions made out of intellect. A good relationship is formed by decisions made out of intimacy that has been felt.

And this is me sparing you from the annoyance you are about to have the moment you see a person who’s true to the one he likes, yet does not receive what he deserves. This is me telling you that no matter how ideal a person is, you can’t just force someone to like that person. This is me asking you not to be stupid enough to think that you can let love grow by providing reasons as to why it has to work, because no matter how good your reason is, it does not have the power to control an emotion.

Love won’t grow out of planting a good reason.



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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Lost

I liked claiming to be a person who has principles because that’s how I always saw myself as
I saw myself as a believer for I believed in a lot of things
I believed I was reasonable because like treasure hunters, I hunted for reasons
I reasoned out for people to see things the way I saw them, everything with a hint of positive point
I pointed, and pointed, and pointed out
And now it seems like I’ve ran out, and I don’t know what point the is anymore
And without any point, there appears to be no matter

I’ll keep claiming to have my principles
Because I believe I do
Because simply saying ‘because’ still proves I’m reasonable
And I guess what I’m trying to point out
Is that I just don’t know what’s the matter
But I know what matters to me

I wanna keep my principles, my reasons, my beliefs, and my points 
But somewhere before these lines
I've lost that certain feeling that explained to me 
Why I had things to believe in in the first place
And knowing your beliefs without that certain feeling?
Well, it’s hard
And I can’t keep encouraging you to believe in whatever I say in my posts
If even I myself am not encouraged


PS: Don't try to talk to me about this.


This article is © Copyright – All rights reserved - seenyetunheard.blogspot.com. You may quote any post, sentence, or phrase found this article provided you acknowledge seenyetunheard.blogspot.com or Alexa Basilio as the original source. Please respect the effort exerted on the thought of each post.