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Saturday, April 20, 2013

Impossible


It's impossible to be happy when you know you're the reason why some people aren't.


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How Do People Not Care

It amazes me how some people say they don't care about what others think of them and actually mean it. How they could just be like "Oh I don't care. They don't know me, they can't judge me. They can say whatever they want. I don't care". I've tried- a million times- to tell myself the same thing, but I just can't put it into action. I can't convince myself, because I just can't do it. Yes, sometimes I try too hard. I can pull of expressions that could trick people into thinking I don't give a crap, but deep inside, I just know I do. When I don't do something about it, I think about it nonstop. I may be good at controlling the way people see me, but I sure suck at controlling my thoughts. Nevertheless, thinking does make me smart... in a way. All the content of this blog is a product of the things I choose not to tell anyone personally, rather publicly. People think I'm indifferent. Truth is, I never am. I notice and examine everything.

And I've gone off topic. All I'm saying is.. I do care. It's just that I choose when and how to show I do. I show I do when I think it's right. Maybe what's right for me isn't right for everyone, but I have my own reasons. Whatever a person says about me may greatly affect me, but if it affects me in the way it could ruin me, then I won't swallow it. Then you just would think I don't really care. I just hope people would be less assuming. I hope they'd stop judging only based on what they hear and see, because one's real personality might all be under a protective coating. There might be those kind of people who're just too impossible to know just by watching. Like me.


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Saturday, April 13, 2013

Strangers By Your Side

I just realized I actually don't know much about the people I thought I knew the most. And they certainly don't know much about me. Then I suddenly thought of why. Some of the people who've known me for years don't really know who I am today. Maybe because I was different from who I was when they knew me, and they didn't stick around to see whatever it is that's changed. They failed to see what has developed, and chose to have a fixed impression. In their eyes, I'm still the girl who isn't much, and I'll always just be that girl. It's good to have people who know your past, where and what you've been to. But I'd rather have people who see me for who I am today, and would find their own way to know what I've gone through to know me better. It's just so hard to be what I no longer am. It's so hard to introduce the new me to the eyes that see I haven't grown.


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Monday, April 1, 2013

A Thousand Miles Away

Did it ever cross your mind that somewhere in this capacious planet, the person that would be perfect for you is out there somewhere, thinking when he or she could find a person like you? You may have each other's ideal qualities, yet distance makes it impossible for your own little worlds to meet


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