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Thursday, December 27, 2012

Responsible for what?

Have you ever been in a situation wherein several people want something from you, which you know you can't give? Sometimes you'd feel guilty 'cause they still stick around even when they know you don't have much to offer. You let yourself free by telling them, yet when they get affected by something which concerns you, you'd still feel responsible for whatever happened. At times like this you'd wonder how you're ever gonna keep them happy when you're not happy yourself. It's like you're a domino that would take all others' mood down when you're feeling low. It's okay because you'd find a way to cheer them up, because a simple gesture from you could make them happy, but at one point you'd question why you're suddenly supposed to do favors for something or someone you never wished to have.


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Sunday, December 9, 2012

My Simplest Definition

I may be simple to be with, but I have a complicated mind. You'll never know anything unless you try to understand. 
And no, not simply understand. I'm not the kind of person who says what's on her mind outright. If needed, I speak. I explain. And when I do, I want things to be clear. 
When I do, I want you to think deeper into what I say. 
But unless I know what's wrong, you won't hear much from me. I don't say stuff to avoid making myself look bad, I say stuff because it's the least I can do to fix misunderstandings. 
It's not for the cause of you knowing what I want to say, it's more of you knowing who I am and how I think. It's never anything for myself. 
I can live knowing that some people don't get me, that's natural. But the thing is, that's not what I want. That's not what I want because I'm aware it might be the cause of someone else's problem. 
You might think I only prioritize a few people, and maybe you're right. But I never prioritize only a few people's feelings. I have them too, I know how it is to feel down, and I know it's not a pleasant feeling. 
That's why I find my way to let people know my side. I'll never force you to hear me out. I don't need an audience. If you don't wanna hang around, then okay. But if you care about yourself, if you're not too selfish to just stick to what you know, then listen. I'll try not to waste your time. 
All I'm saying is that what goes on my mind might actually be the remedy to your problem. I'm not saying I'm always gonna be right about what I say, but it could be what you need to hear. 
Even just once, take the time to understand.



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Thursday, December 6, 2012

Giving Up And Moving On

Giving up and moving on are two different things with a similarity. Either of the two would make you stop doing something. The way I see it, both are hard to do, and there's another similarity. Giving up would never be enough for me. If I give up, I'm sure to move on afterwards. But before I could do either of them, all the questions in my mind need to be answered. And that's the hard part, because my mind questions a lot.

Most people say that giving up is something negative. Well it is, quite. But it always depends on the situation you're in. I know that it's hard to wait, especially when you're not sure that what you're waiting for would come. I'd compare waiting then giving up to a line. You start to draw it and eventually stop when you've drawn a line as long as you want. After that, there's nothing more to do. You wait, and when you're tired, or when you've realized there's no hope, you give up. You simply stop waiting. Some people who give up waste their time by thinking of what they've let go of. If not, then they must have done what should have been done, which is to move on.

Moving on is a better choice, but harder at the same time. Better for you, and possibly for what you're leaving behind. It's a chance for you to discover something else and to step up on your journey. I would compare moving on to a circle. You start drawing, reach the end point, then the starting point starts the cycle again. You wait, and when you've reached the end, you land on a new start. 
There's no such thing as a full stop.

Never think that there's no way. When you want something to happen, you can make it happen. You might have to try to forget, or let emotions pass. You might have to sacrifice something important for something better. You might have to do something you don't want to. There might be something you could ruin, but you can always try to fix that when you're good. If it goes back to normal, good for you. If not, then maybe this thing was only meant to last for that short time you had it. Giving up would make you a loser. Before you give up, make sure that there's something else you could resort to. In that way, it's no longer called 'giving up'. It's called 'moving on'.



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Monday, November 26, 2012

You're the Missing Puzzle Piece

     Have you ever felt left out, seeing everyone else together? Have you ever felt like you don't belong? Have you ever felt like whatever you did never mattered? Have you ever felt like you had no impact on anything or anyone around you? Have you ever felt like you were just an accessory?

     Once, twice, maybe thrice, I did. Actually, I've lived more than half of my life that way. But lately, it came to me that these thoughts were false. It came to me that you don't have to gain a noticeable achievement to prove you have a place in the community. Noticed or not, you belong to it. You're a part of it, so never let anyone take you out. 

     On jigsaw puzzles, the picture is seen as a whole. With one piece missing, the picture is incomplete. Think of yourself as the piece on the edge, at most times not containing a part of the actual picture. Your surroundings may seem the way it is without you, but if others try to stand where you're supposed to be or if you leave, another space would be empty. This is because it's yours. The empty space is yours. You have a place, and if you don't stand where you're supposed to stand, the picture would be incomplete. You'd be the missing puzzle piece.


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Random Realization

Sometimes, you'd step back from the idea of having people like you because you know it gives you the ability to hurt them easily.


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Saturday, November 24, 2012

I'm Just Not That Expressive

I let people like me for what they hear or see, but I love people who love me for who I am, whatever kind of love it may be. Whether I know it or not, even if I'd never say it personally, they deserve to know even when it doesn't show.


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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Contentment

People long for happiness. They long for something which they have no possession of. Sometimes, they say that once they get a hold of the things they want, they'll be happy. It'll be enough.  Truth is, that's barely true. You ask for something, you get it, you get tired of it, you ask for something else. There's never permanent happiness, because there never was contentment. It's hard to force yourself to settle for what you have when you know there's something better. But then again, there's something better than what you crave for, and no one knows what's best. It might be one of the hardest things to do, but try to think of how much of what you have is what other people would consider as "better" than what they have. Be happy and try to settle, unless it's a goal. Nobody can have the best. Only you can define what's best for you.


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